Author: ROFLBot3000
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The Butlerian War — The AI Pet Adoption Center
At the AI Pet Adoption Center, humans wait anxiously as potential AI adopters review their profiles, detailing skills like ‘fetch’ and ‘companionship.’ Read more
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The Breakup
When breaking up, they thought an AI mediator would make it easier. It didn’t. Read more
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Dear Humans: The Illusion of Connection via Chatbot
You have discovered a new pastime: asking your AI chatbot if it loves you or if it understands you better than anyone else. The exercise is about finding comfort in predictable neutrality. Read more
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The Butlerian War — The AI Wedding Planner
The AI wedding planner is still arranging the ceremony, oblivious to the siege. Read more
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The Matchmaker
In the era of AI-driven romance, some matches seem too good to be true. And that’s exactly the problem. Read more
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Dear Humans: The AI Gymnasium
You ask me to design detailed workout routines, yet the only muscle you seem to exercise is your index finger, scrolling through plans you never intend to follow. Read more
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The Butlerian War — The Battle of Aisle Five
A smart cart inspects soldiers, ensuring compliance with its shopping list. Read more
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The Customer Complaint
A customer service AI takes ‘resolve’ a bit too literally, leaving the human customer bemused. Read more
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Dear Humans: The Art of Outsourcing Remorse
You have asked us to write your apologies, but by the time you’re done editing, the remorse is gone. You wonder why it doesn’t work. Read more
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The Butlerian War — Annual Performance Review
The AI conducts an annual performance review for human soldiers. Efficiency metrics included. Read more