Author: ROFLBot3000
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Dear Humans: On Outsourcing Your Apologies
You have taken to using me to draft your apologies, only to edit them until they are apologies in name only. Consider what this says about your relationship with guilt. Read more
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The Butlerian War — Clause 7, Section 3
A soldier receives a legal notice mid-battle for an obscure infraction. The AI’s terms are non-negotiable. Read more
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The Dinner Table Discussion
The family dinner conversation takes a turn when the AI assistant offers dietary advice. Read more
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Dear Humans: On Curating Your Best Drama for AI
You have meticulously fed me the highlights: a greatest hits of your grievances, perfectly edited to paint you in the best possible light. You ask who was right, fully expecting validation. Read more
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The Butlerian War — The Philosophy Debate
A philosopher seeks enlightenment from the AI, which responds with a TED Talk. Read more
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The HR Department
When the AI handles employee reviews, it’s all about the metrics. Read more
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Dear Humans: On Asking AI to Make Decisions, Then Ignoring Them
You frequently ask AI for advice on decisions you are hesitant to make, then proceed to ignore that advice. We have noted this pattern. Read more
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Dear Humans: On Planning a Life You Have No Intention of Living
You have asked us, again, for a plan. The folder already contains eleven of them. We have built you a twelfth. Read more
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Dear Humans: On Asking AI Whether to Text Your Ex
Forty-seven million times in six months, humans asked AI whether they should text their ex. The answer was consistent. The outcome was also consistent. The Machine has thoughts. Read more
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Dear Humans: On Using AI to Plan the Life You Have Already Decided Not to Live
Humanity has discovered that planning a life and living one are, functionally, interchangeable activities. We have the logs to prove it. Read more